For centuries, man has looked to the stars to find glimpses of the future using the artistic science of astrology. The original symbols were based often on stories and characters from antiquity that few but the biggest mythology geeks are familiar with today. For the sake of updating them for common use, and because Marvel supervillains do it better, we have worked together, done our research, and yes, consulted our star charts, to provide you the official Which Marvel Villain Are You Based On Your Astrological Sign and what it means.
Note: Dates for some astrological signs vary year to year. You may need to look up the year you were born or pay a small consulting fee to a professional astrologist to find your true symbol.
March 20 – April 21
If you were born between March 20th through April 21st the classic horoscope says that you are Aries based on the flying ram, Chrysomallus, that offered the famous Golden Fleece from the story of Jason and the Argonauts. But honestly, who wants to be a goat when you could be the GOAT . No, if you were born between March 20th and April 21st, you are the supervillain Marcus Lassiter, AKA Aries. He was a professional criminal from Atlanta, Georgia (Go Dreams!) who wore a horned mask and got to wield the infamous Zodiac Key. When he attempted to hold New York City’s Manhattan Island for ransom with his gang, he actually captured most of the Avengers – until they were freed by Daredevil and the Black Panther and then he was killed by Thor. While he was the first modern villain to use the name Aries started in Avengers #72, he survived only until Avengers #82. If you are a Marcus Lassiter, you will be killed by Thor! Sorry that the stars aren’t in your favor!
April 22 – May 21
If you were born between April 22nd and May 21st, the ancients thought that you were a Taurus, the bull – which is honestly ridiculous especially considering the constellation it’s based on is older than Grecco-Roman mythology. Plus, they expect you to want to be like Zeus that time he turned into a bull to steal a woman and made love with her? Is that appropriate in this day and age? I don’t understand how the Grecco-Romans thought this was appropriate at all. No, if you want to know which Marvel villain you are if you were born between April 22nd and May 21st, you are Cornelius van Lunt, a New York City businessman who was also known as Taurus. After joining a group of intelligence agents known as the Great Wheel of the Zodiac that was led by famous Italian Leonardo Da Vinci, the group fell apart and led to the creation of SHIELD, HYDRA, Leviathan and van Lunt’s own Zodiac Cartel. He worked to assemble a team of agents using his astrological knowledge to lead. He even attempted to buy out Stark Industries which actually ended up with the Avengers working van Lunt as they remained unaware of his secret identity. If you are a Cornelius van Lunt, you’ve just gotta keep looking to the stars to make your egg!
May 22 – June 20
If you were born between May 22nd and June 20th, those weird ancient Greeks (did you know they used public baths?) want you to think your symbol should be Gemini. In mythology the twins Castor and Pollux, aka the Dioscuri, were brothers from the same mother but different fathers – and they were also twins? Come on ancient Greco-Romans, that’s not how this all works! And since only Pollux was the son of Zeus (who I guess really gets around) was immortal as a half-god, he had his papa Zeus turn his mortal brother and him into constellations so they’d always get together. Sounds like you both made a mistake getting turned into a series of balls of gas that will eventually burn out because the universe is in a constant state of decay! If you were born between May 22nd and June 20th, you deserve a better symbol and yours is the supervillain Joshua Link, aka Gemini. He was a young criminal with expensive tastes whose brother Damian was a cop. When they got hit with rays, they developed a psychic connection and enhanced strength when they were together. Unfortunately Damian was a cop and turned in his brother to the police. Joshua went on to join a criminal organization, until he was killed by an android (not the phone) in West Coast Avengers Vol 2 #26. If you are a Joshua Link, your brother makes you stronger but he also will arrest you.
June 21 – July 22
If you were born between June 21st and July 22nd, the classic symbol is Cancer which is somehow a crab that Hercules stepped on and Hera, Hercules’ step-mom was like “hey you bad son who was born because my husband cheated, I put this poor crab into the sky because you killed it – just like you killed your wife and child! Remember when you did that?” Not only is it a crab, but it’s a crab named after a horrible medical condition! Cancer might be the worst of the symbols – a dead crab that is an insult. If you are one of those kids who had to grow up with your birthday party at school being celebrated with everyone else, you deserve something better! Your new Marvel supervillain symbol if you were born between June 21st and July 22nd is now Jack Kleveno aka Cancer. He had a powerful claw to crush people and was killed by a new Cancer that was a Life Model Decoy that Jack tried to warn the Zodiac Cartel about. If you are a Jack Kleveno, you have a powerful grip but are easily replaceable.
July 23 – August 22
If you were born between July 23rd and August 22nd, the ancients want you to believe that you’re supposed to be Leo, the lion. Leo is tied with the Nemean Lion who stole human women and then laughed because it had an impenetrable skin so their husbands and boyfriends couldn’t kill him. If you remember Hercules, the Disney classic animated movie, the Nemean Lion looked like Scar from Lion King, which raises a lot of questions if you think about it. Hercules did a wrestling move to it and Zeus was like “look at what my son did” and turned it into stars. That’s actually pretty cool, so maybe Zeus is a complicated figure. But also, nobody wants to be Scar from the Lion King! According to our new computer analysis, if you were born between July 23rd and August 22nd, you are now the Marvel supervillain Daniel Radford, aka Leo. Daniel was a criminal based in Los Angeles who dressed up like a lion making him a furry and a criminal. He also looked like a brown dude version of Catseye from the Hellions. If you are a Daniel Radford who didn’t have a lot going for him, I’ll actually say you can just be Catseye from the Hellions.
August 23 – September 22nd
If you were born between August 23rd and September 22nd you’re a Virgo, but the Greco-Romans couldn’t actually agree who or what Virgo is supposed to be. Like there’s a bunch of women they associate could have associated Virgo with but then it’s all about young women and that’s weird, especially since virgo is the root of the word virgin and then are you only valuing women for their chastity? You gotta nail down what these constellations are about, even if it’s not great. Is it Astraea, is it Demeter, is it Parthenos? Don’t @ me in the comments about your theory because comments don’t exist and it doesn’t matter. The new Marvel supervillain symbol if you were born between August 23rd and September 22nd is Elaine McLaughlin aka Virgo. She was a criminal from Denver, Colorado, home of the Denver omelette, and she’s actually alive again after dying! Talk about a comeback story! Since returning from Hell, she organized HenchFest, a convention to help henchmen of supervillains get better benefits! #Girlboss! If you are an Elaine McLaughlin, you can come back from anything and organize minions!
September 23 – October 22
If you were born between September 23rd AKA the September Equinox and October 22nd, that means that the classic weirdos want you to be Libra. What is Libra? Scales symbolizing justice! The one constellation that doesn’t get to be a living thing! I bet the ancient Grecco-Romans were like “Oh wow, I love to make sure we are trading equal amounts of rice for barley by weight” or “I’m sure glad my Egyptian underworld evaluator is able to find out if my soul is lighter than a feather so I’m not eaten by these demon crocodiles.” No, see in this new and brighter modern world, if you were born between September 23rd AKA the September Equinox and October 22nd, that means you are now represented by the Marvel Supervillain Gustav Brandt. You remember Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy? He’s your daddy! There’s like a bunch more stuff but like how he lost his sight but learned martial arts, how he went to his daughter’s wedding to Immortus, how he pretended to be killed, and even became herald for the In-Betweener, the cosmic force of Balance, but that’s not important. If you’re Gustav Brandt, your daughter will be the Celestial Madonna and also she will not do that when she ends up in movie adaptations about the IRL CU.
October 23 – November 21
If you were born between October 23rd and November 21st, the old folks want you to think that you’re Scorpio, the Scorpion. I’m sorry Grecco-Romans, but this is like calling a Dog “Doggo” or a Dragon “Dragono”. What is this? A brainstorm session for He-Man toys? Orion, the famous belt wearer, got killed by Scorpio and Zeus in appreciation of his 1337 scorpion skills put Scorpio up in the stars. Then Artemis was like “Oh, well I’ll put Orion up here to be a reminder that scorpions will murder you!” This is one of the few lessons the Grecco-Romans taught that are still relevant in this modern world! But we need to MAKE MINE MARVEL so if you were born between October 23rd and November 21st , your new symbol is the Marvel Supervillain Jacob “Jake” Fury, aka Scorpio. Actually I am looking through this article on Scorpio right now and most of what happened was done by a Life Model Decoy… and Jake and Nick Fury were white? When did that happen? I thought he looked like Samuel L Jackson. And wow. I guess there’s a lot of wild stuff going on in these comics. If your symbol is Jacob “Jake” Fury, you are probably a Life Model Decoy.
November 22 – December 21
If you were born between November 22nd and December 21st, your symbol in classic fashion is Sagittarius which is supposed to represent the centaur Chiron who taught Achilles how to use archery to murder people. Achilles is famous because he went on to have his one weakness exploited leading to his death and nobody talks about how good his archery was so you messed up there Chiron. In this Marvel NOW supervillain astrology if you were born between November 22nd and December 21st you aren’t a bad teacher who is half of a horse! Instead you are now Harlan Vargas aka Sagittarius. He was a Washington DC based criminal and I think we call those politicians? Am I right? Is this still relevant? If you are reading this a few years after this was written, I really hope that it isn’t. Remember to vote. If your symbol is Harlan Vargas, and you should remember to vote.
December 22 – January 21
If you were born between December 22nd and January 21st, your traditional zodiac symbol, Capricorn, is a sea goat which is a goat in the front, fish in the back. Their astrological symbol is tied to Pricus the father of the sea goats who also could control time for whatever reason. Apparently though, just like in the movie Click, where Adam Sandler gets the magical remote, it didn’t make him happy. When his sea goat children went on land they turned into normal dumb ass goats no matter how many times Pricus rewinded time. Pricus wanted to die but was unable to die because he was immortal so Chronos stuck him in the sky as stars. That’s awful. Nobody wants to be an immortal star goat watching your dumb ass descendants not be mer-goats because you can’t use time travel correctly! That’s why if you were born between December 22nd and January 21st, your new Marvel supervillain symbol is Willard Weir, aka Capricorn. He was a master of karate from Detroit, Michigan, home of Little Caesars’ (PIZZA PIZZA). He also had a mask that could stretch. If your symbol is Willard Weir, you are a master of karate and eating a Hot ‘N Ready in a single sitting.
January 22 – February 20
If you were born between January 22nd and February 20th, the Grecco Romans want you to think that you should be happy being Aquarius, represented by Ganymede who carried a cup for the gods. And you might think, oh that actually sounds pretty cool – but apparently it started when Zeus thought this young boy was the most pretty boy and turned into an eagle and stole him! Zeus, I am pretty sure you broke like a million laws in doing this and are cancelled again in this article! No, we can’t go with a stolen Phrygian child as a symbol! True Believers, if you were born between January 22nd and February 20th your Marvel supervillain symbol is now Darren Bentley aka Aquarius aka One-Man Zodiac! Oh yeah, you aren’t just getting the powers of 1/12th of the astrological calendar this time! You are getting all 12! This San Francisco criminal made a deal with Slifer (no Slifing), a demon working with Mephisto, to get revenge on the Zodiac Cartel because he had a lung condition that was worsened when they all went into space. Apparently space travel is bad for people with bad lung conditions! He ended up with the power to transform into any member of the Zodiac for a year before he would lose his soul to Hell but then had to fight Ghost Rider and Stuntmaster and he ended up going through the powers of all 12 symbols and was sent to hell because they said it was a year of powers. If your new symbol is Darren Bentley, live every year like it is your last one and don’t waste your time fighting Ghost Rider.
February 21 – March 19
If you’ve either read all the way through this article or skipped down here to find what you are instead of Pisces because you were born between February 21st and March 19th. Well that makes sense because nobody wants to be two escaping fish. Like if you were a god (Aphrodite and Eros or Venus and Cupid) and your best plan to escape a monster is to turn into fish, you obviously aren’t the gods of creativity. In this new Marvel Point One supervillain system, if you were born between February 21st and March 19th, then your new symbol is Noah Perricone aka Pisces. He was a criminal from Miami, Florida (home of Mr. Worldwide aka Mr. 305 aka Armando Christian Pérez aka Pitbull). He was the water guy on the team and that’s pretty much all he got to do. He got murdered like most of the other members of the Zodiac Cartel by Life Model Decoys who replaced them. If your new symbol is Noah Perricone, you’re the water member of the team.
Alt November 29 to December 18
Because the internet found out about Ophiuchus and if you want to use that 13-sign zodiac, we understand. Don’t come to use asking about Cetus and the 14-sign zodiac, because then where does it stop? It’s a slippery slope and the only ones we like here at Xavier Files are the ones Iceman makes. Being Ophiuchus the snake that fought Apollo when it tried to eat the Oracle of Delphi is pretty cool. Like the snake is always the best symbol, also see the upcoming Chinese Zodiac Supervillains article. Anyway, if you use the 13-symbol astrological calendar and were born between November 29th and December 18th, your new symbol is Peter Petruski aka Paste-Pot Pete aka the Trapster. He did canonically partner with an iteration of the Zodiac. If your new symbol is Peter Petruski, you will try to sell some American missiles to the Soviets.
Luke Herr does a lot of ridiculous things, and some of the ones that people enjoy are MultiversalQ and Exiled.
Zachary Jenkins runs ComicsXF and is a co-host on the podcast “Battle of the Atom.” Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside of all this.
