Which X-Men Vape?

In our modern 2017 world, one question haunts all.

“Do you vape bro?”

Today I intend to answer this for the X-Men. Please note that my answers are definitive based on my experience as both a self-proclaimed X-Pert and a 2016 Reddit /r/comicbooks “/r/comicbooks Award” nominee (of which I was robbed).

  • Professor X – He only pipe smokes
  • Cyclops – No
  • Iceman – No
  • Angel – Yes
  • Beast – No, but he has a bong in his closet that he breaks out when Wonder Man comes to visit
  • Jean – No
  • Mimic – Yes, and he won’t shut up about his rig
  • Changeling – No
  • Polaris – No, but she sneaks cloves behind Havok’s back
  • Havok – No, but he knows Polaris sneaks cloves behind his back
  • Nightcrawler – No
  • Wolverine – Obviously not
  • Banshee – The Professor and him could talk about their pipes for hours and be just as annoying though
  • Storm – No
  • Colossus – No
  • Sunfire – Yes
  • Thunderbird – Yup
  • Shadowcat – No
  • Rogue – She is slowly coming around to it but she is afraid it will go against this Southern Belle thing she has going for her
  • Rachel Summers – No
  • Magneto – No
  • Longshot – Yes, but he is very considerate of others
  • Psylocke – Yes, but she is not very considerate of others
  • Dazzler – Yes
  • Jubilee – She is a mall rat, isn’t she?
  • Gambit – If there is one X-Man who unequivocally vapes, it is obviously Gambit
  • Bishop – There is not vaping in the future
  • Cannonball – He just chews
  • Dr. Cecilia Reyes – No, and you shouldn’t either
  • Marrow – Her rig is scavenged from broken ones that have been thrown out
  • Maggott – No
  • The Skrull Imposter Wolverine – Yes he does, in retrospect it is surprising they didn’t catch on sooner
  • Cable – No
  • X-Man – Yes, everyone in the Age of Apocalypse vapes
  • Thunderbird III – No
  • Dani Moonstar – No
  • Sage – Yes, those years in the Hellfire Club did not treat her well
  • Emma Frost – Yes but her vape pen looks like a fancy cigarette holder
  • Xorn – No
  • Chamber – He doesn’t have a mouth
  • Stacy X – Yes
  • Slipstream – Yeah he vapes
  • Lifeguard – No and she wants Davis to just stop talking about it
  • Husk – Yes
  • Juggernaut – The Crimson Gem of Cyttorak does not require him to partake in such dalliances
  • Mystique – Yeah, she really thinks it’s cool
  • Darwin – Darwin would vape
  • Warpath – With his brothers rig, to honor him
  • Lady Mastermind – Yes
  • Omega Sentinel – No
  • Sabertooth – If the runt isn’t I’m not
  • Armor – No
  • Hepzibah – The Starjammers don’t vape
  • Pixie – She does everything that Dazzler does
  • Karma – It would set a bad example for her little brother and sister
  • Sunspot – Yes
  • Magma – They had no such devices in Nova Roma
  • Box – No, everything the vape pens say when he tries, makes him uncomfortable
  • Dr. Nemesis – Fools, vaping is far beneath a mind such as his
  • Magik – Definitely
  • Namor – Occasionally
  • Danger – No, the Shi’ar had yet to develop vape technology
  • Domino – She smokes cigarettes, and thanks to her mutant ability will never develop any side-effects
  • X-23 – No
  • Hope – No
  • Doop – He prefers the hookah
  • Krakoa – No
  • Warbird – No
  • O5 Cyclops – Still no
  • O5 Iceman – No
  • O5 Angel – Yes, and he loves how advanced things have gotten
  • O5 Beast – No, but he is interested in this sticky icky he has heard about
  • O5 Jean –  Yes
  • Firestar – No
  • M – She is too classy to vape
  • ForgetMeNot – I can’t remember
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4 thoughts on “Which X-Men Vape?

  1. I disagree that Gambit would be the one unequivocally X-Man who vapes. For one, the rig setup is really just extra junk that would likely be the first thing used as a weapon. Sure you could say, oh he’ll just steal another rig, but that’s really a petty theft with zero excitement. If anything, he would probably think that people who vape are a bit pretentious and are doing it because it’s what’s cool right now.
    Since you did sort of highlight him with this article, i.e. the picture and the tag at the bottom, when can we get the character profile? He has been the center of, or maybe just off center of, several different story-arcs, including being mentioned in the profiles of several characters you’ve already profiled.
    Being created by C Claremont and J Lee, I’m still (half)surprised he hasn’t been profiled yet. I know Gambit is not everyone’s favorite but, there are still a lot of fans. Some may even argue, myself included, that Gambit is one of their best additions to the X-verse.
    Claremont was the best writer, nobody writes story’s the way he did, and that’s a shame.

    1. I promise that Gambit is one the list, and actually coming up pretty soon.

      But bro vapes and I’ve never been more sure about this in my life

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