Which X-Men Vape?

In our modern 2017 world, one question haunts all.

“Do you vape bro?”

Today I intend to answer this for the X-Men. Please note that my answers are definitive based on my experience as both a self-proclaimed X-Pert and a 2016 Reddit /r/comicbooks “/r/comicbooks Award” nominee (of which I was robbed).

  • Professor X – He only pipe smokes
  • Cyclops – No
  • Iceman – No
  • Angel – Yes
  • Beast – No, but he has a bong in his closet that he breaks out when Wonder Man comes to visit
  • Jean – No
  • Mimic – Yes, and he won’t shut up about his rig
  • Changeling – No
  • Polaris – No, but she sneaks cloves behind Havok’s back
  • Havok – No, but he knows Polaris sneaks cloves behind his back
  • Nightcrawler – No
  • Wolverine – Obviously not
  • Banshee – The Professor and him could talk about their pipes for hours and be just as annoying though
  • Storm – No
  • Colossus – No
  • Sunfire – Yes
  • Thunderbird – Yup
  • Shadowcat – No
  • Rogue – She is slowly coming around to it but she is afraid it will go against this Southern Belle thing she has going for her
  • Rachel Summers – No
  • Magneto – No
  • Longshot – Yes, but he is very considerate of others
  • Psylocke – Yes, but she is not very considerate of others
  • Dazzler – Yes
  • Jubilee – She is a mall rat, isn’t she?
  • Gambit – If there is one X-Man who unequivocally vapes, it is obviously Gambit
  • Bishop – There is not vaping in the future
  • Cannonball – He just chews
  • Dr. Cecilia Reyes – No, and you shouldn’t either
  • Marrow – Her rig is scavenged from broken ones that have been thrown out
  • Maggott – No
  • The Skrull Imposter Wolverine – Yes he does, in retrospect it is surprising they didn’t catch on sooner
  • Cable – No
  • X-Man – Yes, everyone in the Age of Apocalypse vapes
  • Thunderbird III – No
  • Dani Moonstar – No
  • Sage – Yes, those years in the Hellfire Club did not treat her well
  • Emma Frost – Yes but her vape pen looks like a fancy cigarette holder
  • Xorn – No
  • Chamber – He doesn’t have a mouth
  • Stacy X – Yes
  • Slipstream – Yeah he vapes
  • Lifeguard – No and she wants Davis to just stop talking about it
  • Husk – Yes
  • Juggernaut – The Crimson Gem of Cyttorak does not require him to partake in such dalliances
  • Mystique – Yeah, she really thinks it’s cool
  • Darwin – Darwin would vape
  • Warpath – With his brothers rig, to honor him
  • Lady Mastermind – Yes
  • Omega Sentinel – No
  • Sabertooth – If the runt isn’t I’m not
  • Armor – No
  • Hepzibah – The Starjammers don’t vape
  • Pixie – She does everything that Dazzler does
  • Karma – It would set a bad example for her little brother and sister
  • Sunspot – Yes
  • Magma – They had no such devices in Nova Roma
  • Box – No, everything the vape pens say when he tries, makes him uncomfortable
  • Dr. Nemesis – Fools, vaping is far beneath a mind such as his
  • Magik – Definitely
  • Namor – Occasionally
  • Danger – No, the Shi’ar had yet to develop vape technology
  • Domino – She smokes cigarettes, and thanks to her mutant ability will never develop any side-effects
  • X-23 – No
  • Hope – No
  • Doop – He prefers the hookah
  • Krakoa – No
  • Warbird – No
  • O5 Cyclops – Still no
  • O5 Iceman – No
  • O5 Angel – Yes, and he loves how advanced things have gotten
  • O5 Beast – No, but he is interested in this sticky icky he has heard about
  • O5 Jean –  Yes
  • Firestar – No
  • M – She is too classy to vape
  • ForgetMeNot – I can’t remember

Zachary Jenkins runs ComicsXF and is a co-host on the podcast “Battle of the Atom.” Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside of all this.